American Idol Recappish: NOOOOO!

WTF. The top twelve does not include: Toddrick the Double Threat (Song Arranger/Deranger and Dancer), Kaitlyn Kingperly the Curly, Alex Go Forth and Mulletply, and Lilly Anthropologie!!! It does include, however, all of the sparkly, off-key, incredibly boring pretty people who make me want to vomit. (Ok, not vomit, really, just fast forward.) No mullets, […]

American Idol Recappish: Some Guys Sang and Then Kara’s Uterus Cried A Lot

So that just about covers it. But just for the sake of maintaining recapping normalcy, I shall give a one-word recap of each singer. Lee Dewyze–Firefleh (I didn’t say the one-word recaps would be real words.) Alex Lambert–Mulletastical Tim Urban–Stop singing Hallelujah already! (Ok, that was 4 words, but seriously. Stop singing that song! 1) […]

American Idol Recappish: Golden Girls

The first theme night of the year–a week early! That theme?  Old Ladies! Yup, the whippersnappers aged themselves a collective 400 years or so tonight. Which is fine by me, I suppose. My favorite movie this year was Up. And when I was in middle school and everyone else couldn’t wait to be 16, I […]

American Idol: Strange Love

Good things about the Top Ten Girls: Crystal Bowersox being healthy enough to sing. And not singing Alanis. And singing really well… Didi Benami choosing to sing “Lean on Me,” because I love that song. Even the non-We Be Jammon’ version… Lilly Scott’s dresses. Two Anthro dresses in a row! This week’s is apparently sold […]

American Idol: You, Sirs, Are No Jack Johnson

This week, the men were in a heated competition for the title of “That Guy on My Jack Johnson Pandora Station Whose Whiny Emo Songs I Always Skip Unless I Have Run Out of Skips Because I’ve Been Trying To Avoid All Those Other Guys Who Sound Just Like You.” I liked three performance: 1) […]

American Idol: If These Are the Top 12 Male Singers in the Country…

…Let’s go ahead and move to Canada, shall we? The patented +, -, ? grading system failed me a little tonight, because I didn’t give out a single +. Meaning, I didn’t really enjoy any of the performances. So, here are a few people I might enjoy some other week: Tyler Grady–He has a cool […]

American Idol: Top 3 of the Top 12 Girls

I came up with a seriously complex ranking system for tonight’s Idol girls. I’ll go through it step by step, so see if you can follow: If I liked the song a lot, I gave it a +. If I didn’t like the song, I gave it a -. If I was undecided, I gave […]