Hurray!

1) Because I have a new computer! The screen is really small, so I’m afraid I might have rushed to judgment, BUT it also has 6 hours of battery life. And that’s a lot! Which was the selling point! So here’s hoping I don’t regret it! But it has a plaid pattern so that counts for a lot! Exclamation point!

2) American Idol auditions are a thing of the past. Just one more week of Hollywood Week, and then it’s all about the performances. Huzzah! Quick notes: Ellen does not seem like she is going to be awful (even though she was on SYTYCD). I seriously hearted the “Straight Up” cover by that one dude with glasses. I am excited about maybe 5 contestants already (more on that later).

3) This isn’t exactly a hurray, but you know my awesome Bucs hat? Well, some people don’t find it so awesome. Like, the entire population of NYC. Let me preface by saying that I once walked the streets of Brooklyn in a pirate costume, and not one person noticed. But with my Bucs hat? Everyone looks at me like I have an orange pom-pom-shaped growth on my head. Except 60-year-old men, who will shout out, “Buccaneers!” when they see it.  Not like, “Go Bucs!” or “Hey, you like the Bucs?” but just “Buccaneers!” Which, honestly, is difficult to respond to appropriately. My typical response is, “Yep!” with corresponding jazz hands. Mostly because I have a natural inclination to use jazz hands when I don’t know what to say.

4) I also clap a lot. Any other clappers in the house?

Straight Up awesome

Happy Super Bowl Day!

Is everyone ready to watch? Any exciting Super Bowl day plans?

I think I’m going to watch the Bucs win Super Bowl XXXVII on DVD while I clean my apartment for tonight’s big game. Oh, and I’m going to print out the Super Bowl Bingo cards, of course.

What I won’t be doing at any point today, though, is screaming at the TV. Because I have laryngitis. Perhaps the football gods have heard enough of me this year. Their loss.

Have a great day everyone, and enjoy the game tonight!

Anyone else hoping for some good animal commercials? Those are my favorite.

My Awesome New Hat

How cool is my new hat?
(Answer: So cool.)

And only $2. Can you believe it?
For some reason they had tons of Bucs and Seahawks hats and nothing else. Weird.

Gaines Adams, 1983-2010

As you may know, FifG tries to be sort of, kind of impartial-ish in game recaps. (Ok, not really, but I try to at least respect both sides of an argument. Usually.) But as a fan I am a straight-up Buccaneer.

Which is why today’s news that Gaines Adams passed away is especially sad. Though the DE was a Chicago Bear at the end of his career, he was a Buc from the time he was drafted in the first round of the 2007 draft until several weeks into the 2009 season. (He was traded this season for a 2nd round draft pick.) Adams reportedly died of cardiac arrest caused by an enlarged heart.

Adams’ play was considered something of a disappointment in the Tampa defense, particularly because there are such high expectations for a number 4 pick in the draft. But unlike some players in a similar position, Adams never complained to the press about his struggles with the team. There was also never anything but positive reports of Adams’ drive as a player and his attempts to improve his fitness in the offseason. Many felt the reason for Adams’ difficulty was that he was never given a chance to play consistently at one position, and this was the chance he was to be offered with the Chicago Bears.

As fans, we are not actually part of the players’ lives, but in a lot of ways it does feel like football players are part of our extended family. So as a member of Adams’ extended Buc family, I would like to pass condolences to his actual family in North Carolina.

[Note: This post took basically all day to write, due to computer issues. I'll write more about the playoffs tomorrow.]

Weekly Wrap-Up

Ok, this is way delayed. Please excuse the lateness, especially considering it’s almost next week, and really I can barely remember what happened this week. Here’s the latest-ish:

• FifG Game of the Week winner: The Minnesota Vikings. Sorry Detroit Lions fans, but that’s one more game to the losing streak. On a positive note, many experts (including FifG, because, yes, FifG is an expert) believe that the Lions just might beat the Redskins. As for the Vikings, seems like they played a miserable first half and turned it up in the second half. Congrats to Percy Harvin, aka FifG’s third fantasy wide receiver, on his first NFL touchdown.
• We have had a request here to talk about Mark Sanchez, so this week’s Game of the Week will be the Titans v. the Jets. Should be a great game. Not entirely sure how it’s related to pop culture, but I’ll think about it and get back to you.
• My Buccies suckie. Boo.
• Lots of upsets this week: Bengals over Packers. Texans over Titans. Jets over Patriots. Giants over brand-new-stadium Cowboys. It’s too early to tell if the losing teams are bad, the winning teams are good, or if there was just a lot of bad/good luck going around, but that’s why football is so awesome. You just never know from year to year what you’re going to get, so you can stay invested. Why else is football awesome? Lots of reasons! Here is one.
• Many of you have been asking (via search terms), and, yes, Jon Gruden is married. According to his memoir (which, yes, FifG read in full) Jon is married to his college sweetheart, Cindy.
  Sorry, ladies.  But please know that as adorable as he is, Jon seems like the type of husband who would require a good deal of patience.

 

Jon Gruden is married to football AND to his wife.

Non-football notes:

• Try Martha Stewart’s pumpkin cupcake recipe. It is seriously easy, and very delicious! (Though it’s totally ok to buy the cream cheese frosting pre-made, because really, who can tell?
• I’m currently on jury duty for the first time (the court has wireless), and it has been revelatory, to say the least. I would go into the frustrations further, but I don’t feel it would be polite to speak ill of one’s wireless provider whilst it’s being provided. Maybe later.
• Wireless is awesome.

 

FifG Game of the Week

Ok, folks, I know that this is a huge football weekend in terms of who will and who will not be heading to the Super Bowl. However, my entire football being has been focused on the Bucs. And a large portion of my non-football being, too. That’s a good 3/4 to 7/8 of my being that is now consumed with thoughts of whether the Bucs should have fired Jon Gruden (yes, but maybe not so late in the game if he wants to coach somewhere else this year) and whether they should have hired 32-year-old Raheem Morris, who has precisely 0 head coaching experience on ANY level (why not? we’ll probably suck this year anyway, and I like the risky move–Bucs are never risky). I’ve watched hours of ESPN-N (because my “bargain”-priced cable package doesn’t include ESPN), and I’ve checked every football/Bucs websites like 20 zillion times a day (because you never know when they’re going to ask Clifton Smith what he thinks about the firing). Does this mean I have no life (yes)? No, I don’t think so (no, seriously, I do).

Anyhoo, there are two big games today. The first pits the Arizona Cardinals against the Philadelphia Eagles to determine the NFC representative to the Super Bowl. After that it’s the Baltimore Ravens vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC.

Here’s the most exciting fact about this double-header: 3 out of 4 teams competing have bird mascots! Who would’ve thought? I think we as a society have come a long way in our acceptance of bird mascots. Can you imagine 50 years ago seeing this many bird mascots competing to participate in the biggest game of the year?

Conversation Starters:

-Can you think of bird names for each of the players in today’s games? I have one: Joe Flappo. As in bird wings. Flapping.

-Should there be a Game of the Week column at all when the blogger hasn’t been paying attention to anything but new coach press conferences all weekend?

Cute Football Player of the Week

Joe Flappo, Baltimore Raven

Quoth the raven: Hi, I'm Joe.

(Ok, so this was a goofy blog. Next time I’ll be more coherent. Enjoy the games today!)

Weekly Wrap-Up

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah and Kwanzaa and a Joyeux Festivus to you all.

I didn’t wrap anything up this week, mostly because my own favorite team has experienced a massive 2-week/3-game implosion that has left me on the outs with football. Also, I left 91 points sitting on my fantasy football bench this week, which, for those of you who don’t play, is REALLY bad.

But for a teeny, tiny, extremely delayed update:

• The Titans beat the Steelers in the Game of the Week. I’m happy for them. I don’t think there’s anything to not like about that team. (Which I mean less in a quality of play sense and more in a weird personal vendetta/ugly uniforms/players who’ve murdered people sense.) So I’m very happy for them on their quest to take their #1 AFC seed straight to the Super Bowl.
• Though, I will say that I am now rooting for a Colts v. Falcons Super Bowl. Why? Because a) I’ve given up on the Bucs, b) both are good story teams (Peyton’s basically carrying the entire team on his shoulders MVP-style and the Falcons and their rookie QB/coach combo were supposed to be terrible but are, in fact, quite the opposite), c) both teams have adequately attractive uniforms, d) I would love for Colts coach Tony Dungy to retire on a high note (which applies to the Colts only, but I’m kind of out of reasons for liking Atlanta), e) I love Peyton Manning, and maybe this would encourage them to replay the SNL skit that is available precisely nowhere on the internet.
• The fact that I am rooting for those two teams assures that neither will make the Super Bowl.
• I just saw The Wrestler, and I have to say that professional wrestling completely freaks and grosses me out. When I was at the sports bar for the tragic Monday Night Bucs and Panthers game, the two angry Cowboys fans at the end of the bar were talking about some boxing match. They asked me if I’d seen it, and I was like, “UGH! NO!” They didn’t understand why I would like football and not boxing. And yes, both are really violent, but boxing is violent for violence’s sake, and football is violent for the sake of getting an oblong ball to travel 100 yards at a time, and that is a HUGE difference. Oh, also, football has POINTS! So anyway, boxing is pointless and vomit-inducing, but it is nothing compared to wrestling–if the movie portrays the “sport” accurately–because wrestling is like boxing but no one even wins anything because it’s pre-planned and they fight with STAPLE GUNS! That shoot real STAPLES into their BODIES. I’m sorry, I know this is a very caps-heavy post, but I just saw the movie, and I am still completely horrified. Although I will say that it was a really good, sad, poignant movie, and Mickey Rourke was awesome and Marisa Tomei has absolutely no cellulite at all, and how does that even happen?

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday filled with family, and love, and happiness, and gifts, and maybe even football.

Reason to Like Football, the third

As a credit to my keen sense of “things” and “how it is” and such, I’ve come to grasp the fact that an object at rest stays at rest, and a nonfoobtall-liking person like football stays not liking football.

As a credit to my “visionary nature” and “unmitigated sense of purpose,” I’m going to keep trying to change the laws of physics and football liking. With that, reason #3:

It makes life more exciting.

For instance: two Sundays ago, the Bucs vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs came into this game with one win, the Bucs with five. The Bucs were supposed to win. Were nearly guaranteed to win. Sometimes games such as these are considered “trap games”–meaning that the favored team is so confident that they will win that they really don’t bother to prepare for the game and end up being humiliated by the team who has nothing to lose.

Well, a quarter into this game the Bucs were 21 points down. TWENTY-ONE POINTS!!! The Bucs were playing awfully, and though I wanted to help, I could not. Well, I did do one thing: I changed from my sky blue v-neck into the ol’ lucky comeback shirt. But the Bucs kept on sucking. I watched this game on the computer at home, which was good because it left me free to instant message my friend Renada every two seconds with witty bon mots like, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” and
“#(*&$# @#$(* $@(^!($ (*!@^$(%&#^ “

(She wasn’t watching the game, but she did a nice job of commiserating.)

Anyway, I was prepared to throw in the towel, burn my lucky shirt, avoid game recaps for the week, and give up on the entire season altogether because the team was so awful that they will never win another game ever and they are stupid and I hate them and so there. But then they started making a comeback.

YAY! I thought. WE CAN WIN!

And then we threw an interception.

FORGET IT! THEY’RE LOSERS!

And then we scored.

HURRAY FOR SECOND CHANCES!

And then we fumbled.

I’M TURNING THIS OFF RIGHT NOW!

And then we won.

WE WON!

I tried to type this all to Renada, but my hands were shaking too much. Joy in my soul, nervous palpitations in my heart. It was a good ending to a poor afternoon, and it was a lift to the day and, heck, thanks to the Bucs, I was a winner for the entire week! Because in football, you stay a winner until your team loses. So I and my lucky shirt were both winners for the week. Two weeks, actually, since the Bucs had the week off this week. Winner!

So anyway, the excitement of football is real no matter the win or loss. The jumping up and down. The praying your team will win. Thrill of victory. Agony of defeat. All that good stuff. And you don’t even need to work out in the offseason, or get crushed by 300 lb men, or drink protein shakes to get that–you just have to turn on your tv!

Does enjoying the weekly heart attack induced by football make me crazy? How about my fascination with Li’l Davie Archuleta?

Weekly Wrap-Up

I would like to take a moment to congratulate myself on picking a really good game for the FifG Game of the Week. Nice job, Me. Thank you, Me.

• The Giants beat the Steelers in a come from behind win Sunday afternoon. Oh, and cute player of the week Kevin Boss caught a touchdown pass. I wonder if it’s because of this blog. Maybe the blog has magic. I believe it does.
• The Bucs lost to the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday. I blame poor reffing. They’ve clearly bought into this whole “Dallas is America’s team” bs. I suppose the fact that the Bucs played badly has something to do with it, too, though. Anyway, the reason I bring up the Bucs game is this: I now have to decide what to do with my lucky shirt. Do I still wear it? Do I try out another shirt? The Bucs do have a bye week (aka a week off) in a couple of weeks, so maybe I rest it until after the bye so it’s luckiness has a chance to heal?
• The San Francisco 49ers have a new coach this week, Mike Singletary, and he benched one of their supposed-to-be-a-star players–tight end Vernon Davis–because he is a prima donna. (Coach Mike screamed a lot in the press conference, too. Very attention-grabbing move, and perhaps one to show he means business and earn himself a job with the team for next year.) I think all teams should bench their divas. But then there would be no one to catch the ball. Unless the kickers started playing kicker/receiver.
• I saw “The Changeling” this weekend, and I liked it. The reviews are all mediocre, and everyone seemed to think it was too long and too melodramatic. I hate long, and I hate melodramatic, and Angelina Jolie annoys me lots of the time, but I thought it was good! And the time passed quickly. And, yes, there were approximately 27 subplots. And, yes, Angelina screams a lot, but lady’s kid was stolen, and she was thrown into an insane asylum, and on and on. (Should I have spoiler alerted any of that? Whoops.) In my mind, she’s allowed to sob over that.
• This baseball season refuses to end. Go Rays.

Weekly Wrap-Up

So, technically it’s almost next week already, but in case you didn’t feel like watching the games this weekend after all, here’s what happened:

• The Redskins beat the Browns, but barely. So, see? The exciting game I promised! Only it was kind of a boring game, honestly, but I like to call any game with a close score EXCITING! And so it was.
• The Tampa Bay Rays won the American League Championships in baseball, which was very exciting because I wanted the Red Sox to lose. I don’t really care about the World Series though. I hope Tampa wins, and all, but, eh… Clearly I need to find the site Baseball is for Girls and learn me why that sport is so dern compelling. (As far as I’m concerned, hot dogs and little cups of ice cream with the wood spoonlet are the best things baseball has to offer.)
• Princes William and Harry did some sort of charity motorcycle ride last week, and people.com had a photo attached to the story with the brothers and their bikes. Click on the front page of the webazine? Only Harry. William was cropped out. Poor William.
• I wore my good luck t-shirt again, and again the Bucs won. Forget that they played a Seattle team with like 75% of its starters injured. Thankfully it’s a comfy shirt, because it seems I’ll be wearing it at least 9 more times this year. Also, I’d like to note that I took my clothes to the wash and fold on Monday, so despite the fact that I have no time this weekend to do laundry, my shirt will be clean. (New Yorkers don’t typically have in-home laundry, so please appreciate what you’ve got, people.)
• Kellen Winslow had a staff infection. Um… Uh huh.
• I saw Rachel Getting Married this week, and I dunno, maybe the acting was really good, but all I could think the whole time was, Wow! Thank geebus I don’t have to attend that wedding! Potentially the most pretentiously hippie affair in cinematic history. Is that one of the Oscar categories? Also, Anne Hathaway cut her pretty hair off to be “edgy.” That was sad.