Archive | Off Topic RSS feed for this section

A Vacant Blog is a Popular Blog

21 Dec

Happy holidays, FifGers!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful 2010 football season.

My season has been surprisingly good on the field (Go Bucs and your non-losing record!), but frankly pretty meh off the field.

Which is why I haven’t been posting the Cute Football Player of the Week, or the FifG Game of the Week, or anything for that matter.

Funny thing, though. Thanks to the hotness of breakout start Peyton Hillis and the still-puzzling-to-me desirability of Jay Cutler, I’ve had more hits than ever this season. I’m almost nervous to start writing again, lest that cause my readership to decrease.

But, then, the blog gods are clearly begging for some FifG coverage–Jessica Simpson and her former football player boyfriend AND Jessica’s ex Tony Romo and his girlfriend get engaged within the same month? Come on!

So I’m going to try to do a little late season and postseason updating this year. We’ll see how it goes.

"Thank you for checking out the blog, guys!" No, no, thank YOU, Peyton Hillis.

 

Off Topic Completely: The Commute

27 Feb

FifG is a big-fat complainer when it comes to winter commuting, but here is some pictorial evidence by way of explanation:

Friday morning commute

Forget the commute, try leaving the building...

Ok, so it's a little pretty.

“Ugh”

17 Feb

Visceral Scott Hamilton reaction to the American championship figure skater Jeremy Abbott after screwing up big time.

 

I wanted to embed this SNL skit about Olympic skating, but it is nowhere to be found. Come on, NBC and youtube.

 

Figure skating announcing is the best, because, unlike most sports, when the skater is doing really well the announcers are completely silent. For like minutes.

And when things are not going so well, commentary ranges from the aforementioned “Ugh,”  to “Oh nooooo,” or just a violent intake of air. Which, you know, I do at home, too. So maybe I should be pursuing this whole figure skating announcing thing as a career.

My trademark, I think, will be that when the skaters start crying after a bad performance that makes the past 4 years of 80-hour training weeks totally null and void, I will cry too. And rend my clothing.

Those poor skaters. It’s like, I feel bad for Peyton Manning and his reputation for choking in big games, but at least the dude makes a ton of money either way. These guys are amateurs, not pro. Man oh man.

On a happier side note, I think Johnny Weir is like a magical blend of Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga. Even though he sort of exude bitchery, I like him. He just do what he do. Also, he has a face like an adorable puppy.

Oh, and the pink font is in honor of Johnny’s pink corset strings and shoulder tassel. Why not.

The Best Show in the History of TV. And Before That, Too.

15 Feb

You would think that this first weekend after football season would be the saddest weekend of the year. But I just watched one of the best games that I’ve seen all season long.

On Friday Night Lights.

I’ve now seen all of season 4, and I will give no spoilers. (Unless anyone who has seen the show wants to talk about it, in which case I will spoiler away. I’m not made of stone, people.)

But I will say that this show portrays small town life, teen relationships, adult relationships, workplace interaction, the education system, high school football, marriage, parenting,  and everything else better than any show I’ve seen. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll ogle Taylor Kitsch.

Watch this show. Seriously.

I think I’ll recap episodes when they air on NBC, starting April 30.

Also…

While we’re at it, did I mention my new year’s resolution is to watch The Wire?

Well, it is.

I’m 3 seasons deep–4th season comes via Netflix this week–and I’m going to go ahead and admit that I think The Wire and FNL are actually tied for best show ever. I know, I know, I just made the claim about FNL like 3 paragraphs ago. But The Wire is insane. Everything is so well-crafted and so well-carried out. And whereas FNL is an honest glimpse of the small town, The Wire is a scarily honest glimpse of the Baltimore inner city.

But since I have 2 seasons left to watch, I’m not saying anything else. And don’t tell me what happens, please.

Idris Elba from The Wire. You may ogle him, as well.

Hurray!

14 Feb

1) Because I have a new computer! The screen is really small, so I’m afraid I might have rushed to judgment, BUT it also has 6 hours of battery life. And that’s a lot! Which was the selling point! So here’s hoping I don’t regret it! But it has a plaid pattern so that counts for a lot! Exclamation point!

2) American Idol auditions are a thing of the past. Just one more week of Hollywood Week, and then it’s all about the performances. Huzzah! Quick notes: Ellen does not seem like she is going to be awful (even though she was on SYTYCD). I seriously hearted the “Straight Up” cover by that one dude with glasses. I am excited about maybe 5 contestants already (more on that later).

3) This isn’t exactly a hurray, but you know my awesome Bucs hat? Well, some people don’t find it so awesome. Like, the entire population of NYC. Let me preface by saying that I once walked the streets of Brooklyn in a pirate costume, and not one person noticed. But with my Bucs hat? Everyone looks at me like I have an orange pom-pom-shaped growth on my head. Except 60-year-old men, who will shout out, “Buccaneers!” when they see it.  Not like, “Go Bucs!” or “Hey, you like the Bucs?” but just “Buccaneers!” Which, honestly, is difficult to respond to appropriately. My typical response is, “Yep!” with corresponding jazz hands. Mostly because I have a natural inclination to use jazz hands when I don’t know what to say.

4) I also clap a lot. Any other clappers in the house?

Straight Up awesome

Up in the Air

26 Jan

As I mentioned might be the case, I was booked on a jetblue flight this Sunday at 7:40. My thought was that if the game started at 6:40, I would catch most of it on-board. We’d probably get on the plane around 7:10, so I would miss the first 20 minutes, tops.

But of course, there was rain at JFK, and though I arrived at the gate by 6:30, the plane was delayed. (Side note: I was “randomly chosen” to be X-ray scanned. There were only 2 of us in line–me and an elderly man–so I have to figure that I was the more interesting option of the two, and the most mobile. I tried to avert my eyes when I passed the row of scanner people. Awkward.)

Airport Bar

So instead of watching the first half of the game on the plane, I watched in the bar. I stood next to a pillar with my bags and North Face coat and listened to a New Orleans-based flight attendant chat with a guy who is apparently friends with the Saints’ Charles Grant. Their flight to Atlanta was supposed to have taken off at 3:00. A little more careful eavesdropping, and I realized that the bar was filled with Atlanta passengers, and four hours into their delay they were drunk as skunks. One lady left her husband’s side to drape herself over Charles Grant’s friend. She kept repeating, “We have to work at seven in the morning. Can you believe it?”

A few of the Atlanta flight ladies were fielding attention from the male majority. There was the blond with fancy clip-cloppy boots who didn’t seem particularly interested in any of the guys, but definitely was interested in their interest in her. There were the blond’s friends, who congregated around her to get some of the leftover attention. And then there was the small brunette who seemed to be working her section of the bar really well–there were about 4 guys buying her beer. When one wouldn’t take a shot she said, “You drink like a girl.” He loved it. Fascinating. Point one for small girl.

They called the Atlanta flight to board at around 7:30–The blond was pivotal in corralling everyone. Booming voice, that one–and the place cleared out. There were only 3 or 4 of us left. But then, five minutes later, the small girl came back with a napkin and a pen and walked up to the leftover guy whom she’d been talking to and asked him for his number. Gutsy! Point two for small girl.

(Another side note, this one to self: Best strategy for meeting guys does not include sitting in a corner watching other people interact.)

On the Plane

We finally boarded the plane at 7:45–including the phone number guy–and were told that we would take off at 8:05 if we were all seated by then, but if not, we’d leave at 9:30. Panic ensued, and no one turned on the TV system. Gah!

The pilot very friendly-ly came out to thank us for sitting so quickly and asked if we had any questions or concerns. The phone number guy yelled, “FOOTBALL!” The pilot didn’t hear, and instead he told us that Don Zimmer had been on the previous flight and that he’d had his picture taken with the former baseball manager. Then he asked if we had any more questions, to which phone number guy replied, “FOOTBALL!” But since that was a statement and not a question, the pilot didn’t respond.

Since we were good little plane sitters, we took off before 9, and I got to watch the entire second half of the game. Which was crazy. And though I usually love to watch live events on jetblue because of the communal joy, the lady I was sitting next to was decidedly not watching the game. (Third side note: according to a friend, communal jetblue joy can also be scary if you are, say, not watching the Olympics and don’t understand why everyone is suddenly screaming in unison.)

Because the lady was not football savvy, every time I gasped (fumble!), she looked at me like I had three heads. And when I made the mistake of accidentally clapping (I’m a clapper), she grunted. Which was ridiculous because, a) football is important–duh!, and b) she spent the entire flight watching some old dude playing the piano on The Lame People Channel, or something, and she was conducting the music with her hands the whole time. I MEAN, COME ON. I felt sad when I heard phone number guy cheering several rows in front of me and when the guys three rows behind me discussed the game after we landed. They would have been fun seatmates. Oh well. At least the pilot was gracious enough to allow us to circle the airport for 30 minutes before landing so we could see the presentation of the trophies.

How did everyone else watch the game? Are you happy that the FifG approved Super Bowl is a go?

Incredibly Off-Topic: The Bachelor

12 Jan

1. This season is ridiculous. Jake is very attractive physically but there’s, like, no there there.

2. This season is called The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. But they really played the song “On the Wings of Love” tonight. For real. And they brought out Chicago to play for a special one-on-one date. (For those readers who are the age of Jake’s dates, Chicago is a band and not just a city.) Way to stay current, ABC. I’m pretty sure Lady Gaga is going on tour with Chicago this summer.

3. There was a shocking scandal in which a bachelorette was dating a camera guy, or something. I’d offer an opinion, but I’m really much too upset about the whole thing to talk about it.

4. You know the girl who got completely trashed on the first group date? I just bought that same dress at Anthropologie! I’m trying to decide if I should take it back, so this was helpful. The bachelorette in question seems to be a foot taller than me, and her coloring is totally different (read: blond and tan), but I honestly wasn’t loving the dress. It definitely needed a belt, at least. I did like her earrings, though.

(The dress was on sale when I bought it and is gone from the site now, or else I’d post a picture. So here is a mental image for you: Green! Ruffles! And, um… Green!)

(Do you think the fact that it’s not on the site anymore means that I can’t return it? Shoot.)

Aaaaaand we’re back.

7 Jan

Ok, so clearly it has been a very, very long time since I’ve posted regularly, but times, they are a changin’.

Here’s why:

1) The Bucs’ season is over, meaning fewer posting duties at Chicks in the Huddle. However, if you are excited to read all about the Bucs season that was (and of course you are excited to read about a team of losers), please see my zillion, trillion posts–each one more informative than the next–here. And if you happen to be a fan of a team that’s still in the playoffs, there’s lots of great stuff on the site to check out.

2) I am feeling slightly better. Or, I will be feeling better in approximately 4 months, and the idea that I will feel better makes me feel better. Turns out, asthma bestowed itself upon me a few months ago. I didn’t even know a person could get asthma as a grown-up. Also? When people talk about how they have asthma and can’t breathe, they mean like all the time they can’t breathe and not just when standing in a smoky room or when climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro (like Jessica Biel) (whom I don’t think has asthma). So, basically, don’t get asthma. Or if you do, sign up for allergy shots, because those will make you feel better in about 4 months probably, I hope.

3) American Idol is starting again soon. Yay! But I’m totally not starting to write about it until after auditions. Auditions are dumb. (Very quickly, though, why is Kute Kris Allen’s music so dull? I totally thought I would buy his CD, but man, the couple of songs I’ve heard are yawn-cubed.)

4) It’s playoff time, so everyone gets to care about teams that they don’t care about. For instance, I care about the Saints now. And also the Colts. That is my dream Super Bowl. The one I dread most, as I think I’ve mentioned, is Chargers vs. Eagles. So expect to see that happen.

Super Bowl Preview in FifG's Anti-Perfect World.

End Note: I haven’t posted regularly this season, and yet I’ve had 20,000 views since September–mostly people looking to find out who Jay Cutler’s girlfriend is. (Joke’s on them, since I don’t know…) I’m guessing my views will nosedive once I start writing more (karma for pretending to know about Jay’s social life?), but thanks to anyone who’s checked out the site this season!

Thank You for Football

26 Nov

Happy Thanksgiving, to all football lovers and FifG readers around the world!

Or, ok, around the country, since we’re the only ones who celebrate. Oh, and Canadians. Except they celebrate in October, so retroactive wishes to them.

FifG has been a little lax on the blogging lately due to a) blogging a lot for chicksinthehuddle.com (and now the Huffington Post sports page, too!), and b) being sick for the past 3-5 months. But my Thanksgiving Resolution is to get back on FifG track. Let’s see how that goes.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

FifG drops the ball. Ha. That’s like a pun.

16 Sep

I had such a good plan for this week’s game of the week. I had my pop culture analogy ready to go. I knew which players I would be helping you pronounce. Things were looking good!

And then I got sick. Seriously, folks, I felt so bad that I actually went to the emergency room so that they could diagnose my swine flu. Of course, I didn’t have swine flu, but I was sick. And so I didn’t write the Game of the Week. BUT, the analogy will work this week, too, so I’m saving it.

That said, here are a couple of updates on our FifG faves:

New one coming soon.

New one coming soon.

  • When Jessica Simpson was dumped by Tony Romo, FifG totally pitied her. Now? Even more reasons for pity.
    Her dog got eaten by a coyote!
    Also, her sister is megabitchy!
    Something tells me this is going to be one of those years that Jess is going to want to forget.
:(

Poor Daisy. :(

  • UPDATE (9/17): Looks like Kendrank is/are moving to Indy!
    E! star Kendra is, as we know, married to Philadelphia Eagle Hank Baskett. And with a baby due in December, rumor was that the Eagles were shopping Baskett around to other teams to make room for Jeff Garcia, aka Donovan McNabb’s broken rib insurance.
    Sadly, the Eagles announced this afternoon that Baskett was released. Eeps! Maybe he’ll be picked up by the Chargers? And then Kendra will be really happy? Fingers crossed that Hank finds a new team soon!
The Kendranks. The Baskendras. Still working on it.

The Kendranks. The Baskendras. Still working on it.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.